Missed
by redgrass-and-silvertrees
Summary: It's funny how easy it is to miss something, to miss an opportunity or a loved one. A look into what would've happened had one detail been missed on the Elric Brothers' journey. How differently would the story have been? One-shot. Character death.


**It's been 103 years today since the Elrics burned down their home. It's still not mine. Happy FMA day.**

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><p>"Lieutenant-Colonel Mustang, are you ready? If you recall Sir, we have been ordered to board a train in less than an hour to look at possibly recruiting two alchemists in the East." Second Lieutenant Hawkeye said sternly as she took in the bored expression on her superior's face. She knew that his boredom was just a front, that after all the anguish alchemists caused in Ishbal, he was less than thrilled to add more human weapons to their ranks. But this office had been ordered to recruit new alchemists and the Elric brothers were the best lead they'd had in months. She pursed her lips together, if they were leaving, they had to go right now. She waited patiently, knowing that eventually he would reluctantly get up to start preparing for the long train ride but a little incentive never hurt.<p>

"You know Sir," she said stepping over his desk and pushing the Elrics' file towards him. "The two men we're going to meet are said to be incredibly talented alchemists who would be gladly taken up by less scrupulous people." His expression darkened and she lowered her voice. "But with the proper motivation perhaps they can help save this country instead of destroy it. They are brothers after all, so they know the value of life and love." Silence fell over the room, as if the whole world was holding its breath, waiting on edge for the next words.

The Lt Colonel sighed dramatically and finally stood up making a show of stretching out his back. "You're so tough on me Second Lieutenant; I bet you just enjoy seeing me miserable. How am I supposed to get any dates if I'm all the way out in boonies?" He moaned as he stuffed the necessary paperwork into his bag. "Where is this place we're going to again? Besides the middle of nowhere." He asked, lazily throwing in his alchemic gloves just in case. She glanced down at the file.

"Resembool Sir."

"Alright then, let's get this over with. We've got a train to catch. This had better be worth our time."

XxX

"_You know Second Lieutenant," Lt Colonel Mustang said settling down further into his seat. "I'm not sure these men are what the military is looking for. We need soldiers, not family members out there. They have each other, so they certainly don't need the army." He said flippantly as he shuffled his paperwork, pointedly slipping the Elrics' file to the very bottom. "I think I'll stay in today; we have a few other alchemists we can look at next week who are much closer." _

"_Very good Sir," Hawkeye said quietly, understanding his motivations. She wished he would at least go and look at the others but the man was infuriatingly stubborn once he'd made up his mind. Besides, it was probably just another dead end. It was a bit far-fetched that two such talented alchemists would exist so far to the East where alchemy was rarely used. She saluted as she left the office to rearrange their schedule now that they were staying in. and besides, she thought grimly, what difference could two brothers possibly make?_

_Mustang spent the day dutifully filling out his paperwork as an apology to his aide for changing plans at the last minute. He put in a notice for someone else to check-in on the Elrics that may or may not have been properly filed, he never did check. He managed to get through the stack of papers in record time and was able to leave the office a bit earlier than normal. He smiled to Hawkeye as he left, her quiet goodbye leaving him in a surprisingly chipper mood. __He even whistled a bit as he went home, swinging his silver pocket watch as he walked through the streets of East City. __It was a beautiful night, everything was going according to plan and someday he was sure he'd achieve his ultimate goal. He smiled in the darkness, all was right with the world. _

_A little further to the East, a young boy sat hunched over in a wheelchair with dead eyes not knowing that a snap descison has caused him to miss out on a life changing meeting. His younger brother hovered over his now smaller and handicapped brother trying to repair the damages worn on his brother's body and soul. All Edward could seem to do was stare._

XxX

The ride back to the Resembool train station was upsetting for Riza Hawkeye. She was used to seeing death, to seeing good people broken down until nothing remained, but it hurt to see that face on a boy so young. She glanced over at her superior who was gazing out at the countryside with a thoughtful face. "Will they come?" Hawkeye asked quietly, noting with slight disapproval the small smirk on his face. No one should smile to see children in such a situation much less try and take advantage of it.

"They will." The Lt Colonel said quickly and resolutely as if there was no doubt in his mind while hers still struggled to come to grips with what they'd seen. She'd almost wished they hadn't come, hadn't disrupted the miserable half-lives of the two young boys but the Lt Colonel obviously didn't see it that way. "That boy. I've never seen anyone look so defeated." She said sadly but Mustang only widened his smirk.

"That's what you saw?" He said, giving her a sideways glance. "No, there was fire in those eyes." Riza pursed her lips, thinking back to that small boy in the wheelchair who had barely moved during the Lt Colonel's speech. But looking up at her commanding officer, at the ambition that burned in his own eyes after the tragedy in Ishbal, she thought maybe one day that Edward Elric might be able run again. She smiled lightly, she did hope the Lt Colonel was right; she would enjoy seeing those two boys alive with purpose. And if they could overcome this, who knew how far they could go?

Back at the Rockbell house, Edward Elric was already looking with bright eyes toward the future he would make for himself and his little brother. The resolve which had wavered under the weight of the tragedy had firmed up with purpose. The next day, he began preparations to undergo automail surgery and after that, he would head to Eastern Headquarters to meet the Lt Colonel and then take the alchemy exam. He would make things right, he promised Alphonse, and he would never, ever give up until he did.

XxX

"_Brother, Granny and Winry said that your wounds have healed enough to start working on getting you prosthetics. They said it might be tough but they think you can handle the automail surgery. You could have two arms and legs again in about 3 years. Wouldn't that be nice Brother?" Alphonse said anxiously, hovering over his elder brother's bed as he played with nerveless gauntlets. If it was possible, Edward looked worse than he had in the days after the fateful transmutation. Ed had spent those first few weeks apathetic and indolent only to one day be seized by a mania to make things right again. Al knew for a fact that Ed very rarely slept and only when he physically passed out. His normally voracious appetite had whittled down to practically nothing and the effects were clearly seen on the his pale face marred only by the dark circles under his eyes. _

_Ed looked wildly with his eyes trained slightly to the right of Al's helmet. It had hurt at first but Al had accepted the fact that Ed was too ashamed and fearful to look at his now monstrous baby brother in the eye. He supposed he could understand but Al wished that Ed would just look at him and acknowledge that underneath it all, Al was Al. _

"_I'm not getting anything done, not until you're back to normal," Ed spat out with a vehemence that should not be coming from an 11 year old boy. "Why should I have the privilege of four working limbs when you can't even sleep at night? No, this is my punishment and I'll deal with this until I can find a way to get your body back." Al sighed and took his seat at his brother's bedside. All Edward's energy was invested in reading and studying alchemic scripts. He poured over all of their father's books looking for something, anything, that might help their situation. As much as Al wanted to be returned to normal, he couldn't stand to see his brother like this when he was very clearly hurting. It upset Al almost as much as the loss of his body._

"_Brother," he said quietly, "can you at least eat something? Or take a quick nap?" But Ed never answered and Al settled himself in for another long night of Ed's strained and anxious breaths, clumsily turning the pages of yet another book that promised nothing but dead ends._

XxX

The trials of automail surgery were physically demanding on Edward's body. As Granny had predicted, Ed was frequently vomiting up his own blood due to the rapid pace he underwent his exercises. Of course Al fretted over him, encouraging him to take it easy, saying that there was no need to do everything within the year time limit he had imposed on himself but Ed would just wipe his bloodstained mouth and stare up at his brother.

"We don't know if that Lt Colonel guy will keep his word Al. He knows about us, about what we did, he could turn us in at any moment. That's why I need to get to East City as soon as possible and pass the alchemy exam. It's the only way I can be sure he won't rat on us." Edward's body shook with the effort it took for him to stand up on his automail leg. Alphonse made a pained noise reaching out to help his older brother but Ed waved him off as he huffed and sweated his way to his feet. Still looking far too pale and fragile, Ed jerkily brought up his right arm which was almost able to form a fist.

"And after that Al, I'm going to get your body back just like that bastard said. I don't care if I have to tear this country apart to do it, if I have to travel to Xing, to Drachma, even to the damn moon. I am going to find a way to return you to normal." He said between pants, giving his brother a fiery look that warmed Al's disembodied heart. Because despite the overall tragedy of what had happened to them, Ed was still the same and he still cared and even the thought of making things right made the struggles they were enduring seem that much lighter. He lightly reciprocated Ed's fist bump.

"And I'm going to get you back to normal too Brother, with the Philosopher's Stone, we'll be able to make everything right again." Ed smirked.

"Yeah, and pretty soon we'll be on our way. You just have to wait a little longer Al." Ed's face lost the rest of his color as he shakily tried to take a step forward only to feel more blood bubbling up in the back of his throat. Al tutted angrily to see how stubborn Ed was being when he clearly needed help and Al decided to take matters into his own hands.

"Well first things first we need to get you better again and standing here being an idiot is not helping. We'll get the stone eventually but for now you're going to lie down and rest your aching limbs." The younger brother said with a touch of mischief in his voice as he picked up his brother bridal style and made his way to the back bedroom, laughing, but ignoring Ed's protests all the same.

XxX

"_Goddammit!" Edward shouted followed by the loud thump of something being thrown. The sound echoed around the small house causing Winry to wince. She looked over at her grandmother who was repairing another customer's automail seemingly unaware of the commotion but the tightness in her face betrayed how much it bothered her. The last six months had been nightmarish, not just for Ed but for the rest of them as well._

_Since they had tried to bring back their mother, it seemed as if the two boys had fallen into a rut without knowing how to get out. Edward refused any treatment other than the very basics to keep himself alive insisting on living with one arm or, when he had to leave his room, hobbling about on a crutch with his one leg. It hurt Winry to see her friend so damaged with her just standing by unable to do anything. She'd talked to Granny about it one night when she'd broken down into tears and her grandmother had held her sadly._

"_There's too much of his father in him," Granny had replied quietly. "It's the frailty of genius Winry, sometimes you get so caught up in it that you can't see anything else. Grief and guilt have got him lost in that big old head of his and only Edward can get himself out again." Winry thinks she understand what Granny had been saying. All Edward did was read and curse and read some more. She knew that he was trying to find a way to get Al's body back but he couldn't seem to shift his focus out of the books. It would be better if Ed would just acknowledge the younger brother he was studying so hard for. No matter how hard Al tried, Ed never quite looked at him or spoke to him and Winry could tell that the rejection was taking its toll on the armored boy._

"_Well what are you waiting for?" Granny said roughly not looking up from the leg she was working on. "Go see what he wants. You know how he gets when Alphonse isn't here; we've got to make sure he doesn't hurt himself." Nodding quietly, Winry got up and made her way into the back bedroom where even from down the hall she could hear Edward cursing and muttering nonsensical things under his breath. She knocked on the door._

"_Ed it's me, I'm coming in," and no matter how stupid or foolish it was she always hoped she would open to a different scene. See Ed with all four limbs sitting lazily on his bed with a book only to smile up at her. Or even to see him fitted with automail attempting to move past this tragedy. But of course that's never what was there. Edward's single hand was trembling as he awkwardly tried to open up a new book to replace the one he'd just thrown. His eyes were wide and manic as he skimmed over the pages and Winry had to wonder how much he was actually reading considering he was running on so little food and sleep. His hair was dirty and fell almost to his shoulders since he'd refused any sort of haircut. It worried her that Ed didn't even seem to notice the wayward strands that hung in his face and near his mouth as if his grip on reality really had slipped away. Ed glared up at her as soon as she entered the room._

"_Go away!" He snarled, "I don't need anything from you." Her bottom lip trembled at his harsh words but she kept in the tears only because she knew it would only make him angrier. Huffing at her silence, Ed gave his room a cursory look before going back into the book. "Where's Al?" __Despite how he treated Alphonse when he was here, Ed was nearly frantic with anger and worry whenever he was gone. Though she tried, she couldn't understand how Edward could care so much for his brother but at the same time treat him so wretchedly. _

"_He's in East City, remember?" she said gently, "you said you needed more alchemy books and so Al went to get some for you since you can't…" She let the sentence trail off wondering if the mention of his disablement would cause him to rage at her. She peeked up through her bangs to see that Edward had already gone back into his book and probably didn't even remember she was there. With a soft sigh Winry started to leave the room when Ed spoke quietly._

"_I'm going to make things right Winry. The Philosopher's Stone, that's how I'm going to do it. Just you wait. We just need the stone, just need to get the stone." Ed said losing focus and retreating back into his own world. Winry tried to see this as a hopeful sign, that Ed was still in there somewhere but as she closed the door, the tears dripping down her face told her that he was lost more than ever._

XxX

The week that Edward was in Central taking the State Alchemy exam was a tense time in the Rockbell house and Winry almost couldn't believe it had come up so fast. The last year had been devoted solely to Edward's recovery with little time spent to acknowledge the horrible consequences of their work. In a way it was relieving to see Edward up and moving, so different from the listless boy he'd been up until the soldiers had visited. _And soon he's going to be a soldier too_; she thought harshly gripping her arms as she and Al sat outside staring at the countryside.

She wanted to talk to him about what was happening, what was going to happen and where everything had started to change. Between tending to Edward and tuning his automail, Winry could sense the restlessness between the two brothers, the energy that said all of this was just a waiting period and the real work would be starting soon.

"You and Ed are leaving aren't you?" She said quietly resting her head in her folded arms. "When Ed gets back you're going to search for a way to get your bodies back and I won't see you anymore." She tightly shut her eyes; there she had said it, the topic the four of them had been dancing around for the last year. Next to her, she heard the metal creaking as Al turned his helmet towards her.

"Yeah, we have to Winry or we'll just be stuck for the rest of our lives." She felt ashamed at the tears that welled in her eyes but she couldn't seem to stop them as she angrily addressed one of her oldest, dearest friends.

"Stuck? You think being here with Granny and me is being stuck? We're your friends; practically your family and you guys are just running away from us. We can give you whatever you need, I'll keep Ed's automail tuned, maintain your armor, and we can keep you safe here Al." She said roughly wiping away the tears only to feel Al's too large hands very gently grasp her own. She looked up at the expressionless mask still thinking that she could see the boy she knew so well underneath it all.

"You and Granny have been so good to us and Brother and I are so grateful for all that you've done. But this isn't about being safe and comfortable, it's more than that." He brought his other hand on top of Winry's and squeezed just to point where it started to hurt. "Brother and I sinned the night we tried to bring Mom back. We've made our mistakes and now it's time for us to fix them. That's why Brother's taking the alchemy exam, so we can make this right again. It won't be forever Winry, but it's something that we have to do." Winry sniffed but nodded slowly as Al let go of her hand to affectionately rub at her head. She swatted him away good-naturedly enjoying the sound of his laughter even though it echoed slightly within the armor.

"So you think Ed will pass?" She asked looking again at the sweeping hills, thinking of how lonely it'll be without the brothers. Al chuckled lightly next to her.

"I don't have any doubt; Brother will come back as a State Alchemist. He can transmute without circles now, just like teacher, there's no way he'll fail."

"How can you be so sure? It's a tough test and Ed's only just learned to work his automail. Maybe he's just not ready."

"That's not true," Al replied. "Brother's been ready to go since the Lt Colonel came to visit. We just had to wait for his body to catch up. He's so strong and so determined that even if they tried to keep him out, he'd just put up a fight until they let him in." Winry giggled, all too easily able to picture the scene and almost missed his light whisper. "Now we can finally get started." Winry smiled sadly as the wind tossed her hair back and forth.

"Okay I guess, but don't forget to keep your joints oiled and to take care of Ed. He's such an idiot without you." Al laughed and they sat the rest of the afternoon waiting in companionable silence waiting for Ed's call.

XxX

"_Brother?" Al enquired lightly entering his brother's room trying to be as quiet as was possible in this armor in case Ed was sleeping. But of course he wasn't, the elder Elric very rarely slept these days, in fact he really didn't do much of anything. Ed didn't even look up at Al's entrance and he had to wonder if his brother even knew he was here. It was getting harder and harder these days to tell how cognizant Edward was. "Brother, it's me, it's Alphonse." he started hoping against hope that something in Ed's eyes would light up in some form of recognition but he just continued to stare at the wall like always. Al sighed and set down the tray of food on the bedside table, moaning a little when he noticed that Ed hadn't even touched his lunch from earlier._

"_Brother please you have to eat, you're wasting away. Granny says if you don't take better care of yourself you're—you're going to die." Al said in a quiet, hushed voice as if to ward off the ominous presence of those hateful words. Because Brother couldn't die, he just couldn't, Al wouldn't let him. Al gently brushed a lock of blonde hair from his brother's eyes as he knelt in front of smaller boy._

"_Come on Brother," Al said hopelessly trying to inject false cheer into his voice. "It's not over, just because our research on the Philosopher's Stone didn't pan out doesn't mean it's hopeless. It's been weeks since you actually spoke to someone, since you've actually done anything and that's not the Brother I know. I mean, maybe I could run up to Central and check out the books in their library or even look into other leads. Dad has some old books on Xingese Alchehestry which might have some answers so please," Al bowed his head feeling his emotions bubbling up causing his armor to shake. "Please don't leave me. You're all I have left." How he wished he had a body that was capable of expressing this pain he felt, maybe then he could do something for his family._

_The sound of flesh on metal brought Al back to attention to see Edward looking up at him and wasn't that a miracle. Ed was actually _looking_ at him, his sunken, glassy eyes meeting the armor head on for the first time in months. His single hand limply patted Al's shoulder again. _

"_Brother," Ed whispered his voice probably raspy from disuse. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can make this right." His face contorted in anguish and he shamefully squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head away into the remains of his right shoulder. "I'm so sorry Alphonse, I'm so sorry, I messed everything up and I don't know what to do anymore." Al made a pained little sound as he watched tears make their way down his brother's face, Ed gasping for breath as his body trembling with the force of his grief. "I'm so sorry little brother, I'm so sorry. Look at what I did to you, look at what I did." Alphonse brought one giant hand up to cup his brother's face while his other gripped Ed's hand. _

"_Brother please, it's okay, everything's going to be okay. As long as we have each other, we'll be fine. It's not your fault, I went along with the transmutation too, I'm just as guilty as you are." Ed shook his head but Al just continued to hold him. "Please Brother listen to me, just let me help you. It's not over, we can still live. We just need to get you some limbs, get you out of his depression and keep moving forward. You can do it Brother, I've always believed in you and I know you'll never give up." _

_Ed's frantic crying had finally calmed down and he turned his eyes up to Al again. They were bloodshot with deep, dark bags under them like bruises. Their brilliant golden color, which were always filled with life and passion and had reminded Al of a raging fire, now resemble a dying flame on the verge of being blown out. Now he knows why Edward never looked at him anymore, he hadn't wanted Al to see how dead he was inside._

_Alphonse's fingers gripped the back of Edward's hair because now he saw it; the Edward Elric he had known and loved had perished the night of the transmutation. All that was left was for his body to follow suit. Al had to look away because he couldn't stand to look at this stranger in his brother's body anymore but he never removed his hands. He can't quite remember how long they stayed like that, Al silently mourning his big brother and Ed vacantly staring at nothing, but Al was pretty sure he could feel his whole life stretching before them and the shortness of it almost felt like a relief. _

XxX

Edward Elric, newly minted State Alchemist, stomped into Mustang's office like he owned the place desperate was he to prove himself worthy of the silver chain hooked to his belt. The others in the room, save the woman Lieutenant, jumped and one guy who had been leaning back in his chair fell over at the sound of door slamming open. Ed just managed to suppress his delighted snickers while Al apologetically held up his hands behind him.

It was satisfying and nerve wracking to watch as one by one the recognition dawned in their eyes. He'd heard about Mustang's team and the Colonel had been quite frank when he told the brothers that he'd explained their situation to his men. So everyone in this room knew that Ed and Al had attempted the forbidden and had come out horribly damaged but alive. The Colonel had assured him that these people were trustworthy but Ed still felt uncomfortable having his dirty laundry aired out to people he didn't even know.

"Hello Edward, Alphonse," the kind Lieutenant said stopping her paper shuffling to grace them with a small smile. "I see that you're settling into your new rank well." She said, her head subtly pointing to the plainly visible watch chain. Ed preened a little, taking a moment to brush some hair from his eyes.

"Yeah, I had like three people salute me on the way here. It was pretty great; does everyone have to do that?" He asked watching the other men blanch out of the corner of his eye.

"Well as a State Alchemist you technically hold the rank of a Major so anyone under that rank is obligated to salute you." She said giving the men a pointed look and Ed was taken aback as they all suddenly stopped what they were doing and stood to attention, their shoes clicking as they saluted.

"Major Elric Sir!" They said but Ed's shock wore away as he observed the rag tag group. The man who had fallen to the floor, had apparently been smoking before and was coughing and choking on the cigarette as he saluted with tears gathering in his eyes. Another had half a sandwich stuffed in his mouth garbling the address and spilling crumbs everywhere. A younger man by some technical equipment had forgotten to unplug his headphones when he stood up and was wincing as half his equipment tumbled with his movement. The oldest, a man with gray hair appeared the most put together but had apparently thrown a stack of papers in order to pull off the salute and Ed now watched them all flutter slowly to the ground.

He glanced over at the Lieutenant observing her annoyed but not terribly surprised face. These were Mustang's men? The ones he was told he could trust with all his nasty secrets and who were the best and most loyal unit in the military. Edward thought he was doing an admirable job of keeping himself from laughing but the sound of Alphonse's barely stifled chuckles from behind him made him lose all control. He doubled over laughing at the ridiculous picture the military men created, listening to his little brother also enjoying the silliness. He was just straightening up to wipe his eyes when Mustang poked his head out of his office to observe the situation which remained the same except for the bright red blushes on all of the men.

"You're here less than a minute Fullmetal and you're already making fools of my men?" Mustang said drolly before giving a small smirk, "that's not very _big_ of you, is it?" Edward raged and screamed at Mustang only prevented from slaughtering him by Al's strong arms. Unconcerned, Mustang ducked back in his office telling Ed to come in for his assignment when he had finished his little tantrum, which of course only made Ed angrier. Huffing a minute or two later, he noticed that the group was still saluting a few even looked about ready to fall over from the strain of maintaining the pose.

"Um it's ok, you can stop now I guess." He said unsure of what to do only to chuckle as the men sighed loudly with relief and relaxed, the first man falling back to the floor in relief. Ed grinned, deciding already that he liked these guys. Despite his age, they were treating him with respect but they weren't going out of their way to be obnoxious like some of the other people here. He wondered for a moment just what Mustang had told them about him and Al. "You don't have to salute me you know; I didn't become a State Alchemist for stupid things like that. I've got real work to do here."

"But uh Major Elric Sir technically we're required to show respect to a superior officer, even if officially you aren't a part of the normal military," said the grey haired man as reached down to grab his abandoned papers.

"Well it's not worth it if you're going to kill yourself every time you try," Ed said snarkily as he folded his arms. "Plus, I'd imagine it's pretty weird for you all to be saluting a kid." The cigarette man laughed and walked over to give Edward's shoulder a friendly punch only to wince when he hit the automail. Shaking out his sore knuckles, he smirked down at Ed.

"Ok, how about Boss then? It's a respectful term for someone of a higher rank but it's nothing too fancy." The man shrugged lazily. "I never much cared for the important titles, I mean it's all well and good but you never know who earned those stars and who weaseled their way up the ladder."

Edward Elric felt a blossom of warmth in his heart. He looked around the office to see the rest of the men smiling at him and Al without hesitation despite their horrid past and strange appearance. The Lieutenant had even walked over and was now introducing Al to the others who greeted him warmly like he was normal. He-_they_-belonged here. Whatever Mustang had told him, these people had accepted them into their group and allowed Ed and Al to see their silly personas. Because he had earned his place here, after all the things he's been through, and it was here that he would find a way to make things right.

"Yeah, I think that'll do just fine." The cigarette man, who now introduced himself as Second Lieutenant Havoc grinned as he put another cancer stick between his teeth. It was a cheerful scene until Mustang stuck his head outside the door with an annoyed look on his face.

"I'm not waiting in here for my health Fullmetal, stop distracting my men from their work and get your tiny ass in here so I can debrief you and get you the hell out of my hair." Ed jumped and motioned to Al to get into the office while the others snappily went back to their own work. As soon as the door closed, Ed unleashed his fury at the Colonel's use of tiny and for the first time in so very long, he felt at peace with himself.

XxX

_Pinako Rockbell thinks she knew it was going to happen eventually. Knew it before Al's armor suddenly became lifeless mid-sentence and fell to the ground never to move again, knew it before Edward had quietly asked for a morphine drip earlier that day, knew it as soon she saw his dead eyes when he awoke for the first time after the damned transmutation. _

_Edward's recovery had been so fraught with setbacks and strife that she had already silently accepted that the boy would never really recover, at least not in any way that mattered. From the deranged mania of reading up on a magic solution for nearly six months to another five months of just staring into space it was clear that Edward had been well and truly broken by his mistakes._

_So maybe that's why when she went in to change his bandages this morning she hadn't hesitated when he'd asked for a morphine drip to help with the pain. He'd given her a small, sad smile saying that if he was going to go through with the automail surgery then he wanted a little relief. Of course that should have been another clue, nearly a year after the loss of his limbs Ed had out of the blue asked to undergo surgery. Winry had been ecstatic, seeing this as a sign that Edward was finally recovering and began getting to work on drawing the schematics. Only Pinako and Alphonse had quietly questioned his request, but not too hard, because on some level both had probably guessed the end result. _

_Oh Alphonse, Pinako took a moment to blow out the smoke from her pipe as she thought of the tender young boy with wide eyes and kind heart. She wondered if Edward knew that by taking his own life he'd be taking his brother's with him. She wondered if it would have made a difference or if Edward's pain was so deep that he just wanted it to be over no matter what. It was probably for the best, the situation as it was had been difficult enough for Al that the loss of his brother would have been the last straw. She furrowed her brow, well either way those boys were together again in the flesh, probably with their mother too like they'd always wanted. She sniffed at the cruel irony, attempting to bring Trisha back from death had only caused those boys to see her again with their own. _

_She tapped her pipe against the counter as a way to distract herself from her grandadughter's anguished sobs coming from Edward's room. No one had worked harder than Winry, save perhaps Alphonse, to bring Edward back to the light so his decision to end it all just when he seemed to be recovering was such a blow to the young girl. And that was what angered Pinako most of all, she understood that Ed had tried to please Winry in these last few days but it had only left her in bitter pieces. Like Edward, Pinako doubted Winry would ever bounce back from the death of her closest friends only a few years after the death of her parents. _

_Sitting in her kitchen table, the dead bodies of two boys in her back room and her granddaughter crying out her grief, Pinako wondered that if she had seen this coming why she hadn't done anything. It would cruel, but not terribly far from the truth, to say she'd stayed her hand as a mercy to the boys who had become too broken and mutilated to move on. She could say she had been distracted by Winry's automail plans and that Edward had fallen into moods before so how could she know that _this_ would be the one when he finally did it. Or perhaps because deep in her heart, she never thought the boy she had delivered into this world just twelve years ago with his father's brains and his mother's spirit, would ever resort to suicide as an option. _

_But what's done was done. She'd already contacted a couple of men in town to help her bury the two boys tomorrow with no questions asked. Those kids had gone through enough to be made into a spectacle even after their too young deaths. They would mourn and move on, Winry would smile again but perhaps not as brightly as before and life would continue as it always did. No one, save for an old woman and a young girl, would notice the absence of two talented boys and what a shame that was. _

_The chair creaked as she stood up and began to make her dinner preparations. She was old now, old and weary and yet she lived on while so many good people, people so much younger than her, were dead and gone. Now how was that fair? How could they leave an old woman like her to put flowers on the graves of children? It should be the other way around because while her death would be sad and a loss, their death wasn't just the loss of life but the loss of so much potential. She sniffed lightly, leaning on counter to think of a grown-up Edward and Alphonse Elric and the days that should have come. Shuffling around in the too quiet house, all Pinako could think of was how quietly content Edward had seemed this morning, just hours before he would purposely overdose himself on morphine. Like in those final few hours he had finally found his peace, she only wished it were as easy for those left behind. _

XxX

Riza Hawkeye closed her ears to the angry words coming from the Colonel's office. The rest of the men were also quietly ignoring the rapid-fire argument trying to pretend that it wasn't happening like always. However this time was unlike the two alchemists' usual exchange of insults and information. Reporting back from a disastrous mission, the Colonel was properly reaming Edward for his dangerous and reckless behavior that had almost cost him his life. Ed, of course, wasn't taking the chastising lying down and was responding back with equal rancor in his voice.

"I don't need you!" Ed shouted at last, forcefully kicking open the door to Mustang's office causing the hinges to squeal indignantly. "It's always been just me and Al and I so we don't need some smarmy, heartless, child murdering bastard to play daddy to us. You're useless you dumb Colonel, c'mon Al, let's go." Ed hissed stomping out of the room quickly followed by Alphonse who glanced around apologetically before shutting the door and following his brother. There were several heartbeats of silence before Hawkeye decided that now would be a good time to check in on her superior. While she hadn't heard everything that had been said, she knew Edward had an acid tongue when he was properly angry and she could imagine how it was affecting the Colonel. She walked to his door and knocked quietly, holding a small stack of papers.

"Colonel Sir, I have more documents for you." She said before entering not entirely surprised to see his elbows propped up on the desk with his head buried in his hands. Ed would probably apologize for his outburst later, but she wished the boy would understand how much his carelessly thrown out words hurt the Colonel. Most people could forgive a 15 year old boy for such a slip, but Edward knew better than anyone about the pain of digging up old ghosts. "You know he didn't mean it Sir." She said setting the stack on his desk. "I know you mean well and it was the proper thing to do, but those boys just don't know what to do with your care. They spent all those years alone so your protectiveness is foreign to them." The Colonel didn't respond merely moaned into his hands causing Hawkeye to smile slightly at the image he gave of a wearied parent.

He cared for those kids, cared for them beyond the fame they brought him and the missions they completed which is what made dealing with them so difficult. Because caring only made him more vulnerable to attack not only by those who would do him harm but by the boys in his charge. Deciding that he would be fine after a bit of time to sulk, she turned to leave and continue her work.

"Why did we ever go to Resembool?" He mumbled, his words slightly muffled by the folds of his uniform.

"We went because we were scouting two talented alchemists for recruitment which was exactly what we found." He finally looked up leveling her with a light glare.

"No, we found a deranged little demon brat and his much more sensible younger brother." The Colonel sighed and began massaging his temple. "I don't know how I've put up with this abuse year in and year out, sometimes I think it'd have been better for everyone if I'd just let them be. We could've continued on our mission without such headaches and those kids wouldn't be involved in situations that could potentially get them killed."

"I think those boys would disagree with you Sir." She said not turning around to face him, purposely showing him her back and all the things it signified. "When we found those children they were damaged and scared and you gave them back their hope. I know you think you endangered them by pulling them into the military but I think in the end you saved them from self-destruction." The Colonel was quiet but she heard the shifting as he sat back up straight and picked up his pen to continue working.

"I guess we'll never know but we've got them now so I just got to keep them alive long enough to make use of their skills. If the pipsqueak calls to apologize, tell him that my time is_ short _and that he shouldn't get hung up on such _little _things."

She smiled lightly and shook her head is contentment, "yes Sir."

XxX

_It was a Wednesday afternoon and the office was quiet as it usually was around this time. The men would occasionally get preoccupied with talking but a well-placed glare from Hawkeye got them working again. Business as usual. Colonel Mustang sat in his office dutifully signing paperwork, wishing for some form of distraction so he could rest his aching hands for even a moment. Pretending like he getting some important reference document, Mustang opened his bottom drawer and aimlessly shifted through the stack of forgotten papers until one folded and stuffed far into the back caught his attention. Wrestling it out of the drawer, he came across a file for two alchemists out East who the locals said were impeccably talented. He looked at the date and saw it was about four or five years old._

"_Oh Lieutenant, can you come here a moment?" He questioned looking over the document with interest. He held it up for her inspection once she was in his office. "Do you recall this case? I found it stuffed in the back and was just perusing it, it seems like a decent enough lead. It's years out of date but do you recall why we didn't go?" She took the file from him and looked over it briefly._

"_Ah yes, the Elric brothers. Someone had asked you to look into possible recruitment for them but in the end you turned down the offer and it sounds like no one ever followed up with them." He hummed taking back the file, fingering the yellowed and torn edges of the paper. "I believe at the time you didn't feel it was worth the trip even if it was only a few hours away from Eastern Headquarters. You didn't believe two brothers from the country could bring anything of significance to the military." _

_Mustang shrugged, now recalling the case he had casually dismissed so long ago not feeling too worried about it. He switched out his gloves underneath the desk and, with a snap of his fingers, lit the paper on fire letting the flames eat away at it for a moment before dropping it into his trashcan._

"_Yes, well it's probably for the best. I suppose we could've checked in but I'm sure they're on to bigger and better things by now. I'm sure wherever those two are; they'd thank us for not interfering with their lives. Don't you think Lieutenant Hawkeye?"_

_She frowned slightly and bowed her head in understanding, "yes Sir."_

* * *

><p>Happy FMA day everyone! A day for tears, sadness and remembrance so of course I had to post a sad story for the occasion. This story spiraled out of control. I stated in another story of mine ("The Choices we Make") that there were a great many coincidences that led the Elrics to the path they were on, so I thought what would happen if the biggest, and arguably the most important, coincidence never happened? What if Mustang never showed up to offer Ed and Al a second chance? The plain text is the normal events of the FMA storyline while the italicized text is if Mustang decided to stay in that day and the consequences surrounding that decision. I don't know, I felt wretched after finishing this. So on this day when fans think about where it all went wrong for our favorite set of brothers, I can put something out there to show how things went right as well. Don't forget.<p> 


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